A Defense Problem
by Harpygirl24
Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.
1. The Foundation Of The Problem

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

Chapter 1: The Foundation Of The Problem

"Today, we are watching me work on a potion that will be covered during your sixth year. I want to give you all a taste of the kinds of potions that we will be doing, if you choose to continue to study under me."

It was after Halloween, before the first Quidditch match, and everyone was looking forward to their Christmas break next month. The idea that they had to watch Snape brew a potion was enough to make everyone groan, even the Slytherins. However they didn't dare if they didn't want to get detention from their Head of House.

"This potion is a fertility draft," Snape said, "It's very sensitive to magic and will draw energy of two people that happen to be next to each other. This energy will mimic human sexual interaction and if anyone here doesn't know what that is I suggest you ask your parents."

Ron made a face and Hermione grinned.

"In short, you will get pregnant by the nearest male that you happen to be next to without actually having sex with him."

Ron made another face.

The lecture continued and they watched as Snape brewed the potion, not needing any instructions as they all knew that he must have brewed this before. When the bell rang Snape called for each of them to come forward and look inside the cauldron. As each did Ron made a third face.

"Smells like a baby's bottom," he said.

"And you have experience in this area," Hermione asked him.

Ron went white but shook his head. They all collected their things and left.

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Professor Snape left the classroom, intending to take care of the potion when he was done. He put wards up to warn him if anyone was coming in and then closed the door. In the corner of the room a figure appeared and walked over to the cauldron, pouring some into a bottle that would break at any sensation of magic. Now all he had to do was put it in Granger's bag and she would be knocked up without even knowing.

Oh he would have his revenge.

He didn't see Granger at all until Care of Magical Creatures, which didn't have the use of magic in it. He followed the Gryffindor's out of the castle and down to Hagrid's hut. Today was going to be a boring lesson because of what happened to Buckbeak. He saw her placing her bag on the ground and joining Harry and Ron. With her back turn, and the class focused on what they were doing, he slipped the bottle into her bag and then joined the others.

The only class where this would work was Defense Against the Dark Arts, which was going to be so much fun.

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"Do you ever clean your bag out, Hermione?" Harry asked as they headed to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Of course I do, Harry," Hermione said, "But I just didn't have time this week."

"I think you should do it when Defense is over," Harry suggested.

"Okay, Harry, fine," she said and they entered.

"Today class we are going to be working on the Fire Hex," Professor Lupin said, "I do hope that all of you have been reading up on this one."

Everyone had but hadn't tried it because Lupin had said that it wasn't safe.

"Okay, I'm going to ask someone to come forward and try this spell out," he said, "Miss Granger, bring your bag so that I can show what this spell can do. Don't worry, I'll repair it but take all your books out."

Hermione nodded and took all the books out that she had. She then brought the bag over and dropped it. Not even Lupin heard the sound of glass hitting concrete.

"Wand at the ready," Lupin said and he shot the spell at the bag.

The bottle exploded, showing Hermione and Professor Lupin with the contents of the potion. Everyone gasped in shock at what happened, red and blue light going around them. When the smoke cleared Hermione was lying on the floor.

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"Hermione," Harry cried out.

"No, don't," Lupin said, "We don't know what was in her bag."

The bag was gone but the shattered bottle was still there.

"Ron, take her to the Hospital wing," Lupin ordered, "I'll get Professor Snape in here to look at this bottle."

Both boys nodded and Harry said, "Hermione wouldn't have a potion bottle lying around. Never know what will happen."

Lupin gave him a worried look as she was taken away.

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When Hermione came to she was lying in the Hospital Wing and didn't know how she ended up here. When she moved Madam Pomfrey suddenly appeared. How she knew when a student was awake she would never know.

"How are you feeling, Miss Granger?" she asked.

"Okay, but my head hurts," she told her.

"That's understandable," Madam Pomfrey told her, "I suggest that you leave and come back if you're feeling any effects."

"I will, and thanks," Hermione said, "When will I get a new bag?'

"I'll have Professor McGonagall buy you a new one," she told her and Hermione hurried out of the wing.

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A/N: Oh boy, Hermione has no idea that she's in for the ride of her life.


	2. Feeling Sick

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

Chapter 2: Feeling Sick

The whole 'accident' as it was called was forgotten over the next several days. No one asked Hermione if she was okay and things moved on like they were suppose to. Hufflepuff won the match against Gryffindor and Harry had his broom broken by the Whomping Willow. That made Harry depressed.

"Harry, why don't you just buy another broom," Hermione suggested, "Stop moping around."

"I'm sorry if my loss is making you uncomfortable," Harry snapped.

A week after the 'accident' Hermione felt the sudden need to throw up. She ran near the Forbidden Forest and emptied her breakfast. Ginny, who was with her, pulled her hair back so that she wouldn't get any on it.

"Are you okay?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah, I think I'm coming down with a stomach bug," Hermione told her.

"It's that time of year," Ginny told her, "But I think that you should go to the Hospital Wing."

Hermione shook her head and said, "No, I'm not. I'm not going to have her force disgusting potions down my throat that makes me look as though my whole head is blowing up. I'll write to mum and ask her for something."

"Are you sure?" Ginny asked.

"I'm positive," Hermione said, "I need to get to Charms."

She then hurried off.

Of course the sickness got worse and before long Hermione couldn't even leave the tower without throwing up. She did manage to send the letter to her mum and the owl came back with something from home, muggle flu medicine. She popped one in her mouth and drowned it with water. She then laid down and waited for some measure of relief to take place.

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"I'm worried about Hermione," Ginny told Ron and Harry.

"What do you mean?" Ron asked.

"She hasn't been feeling well for a week and I don't think that it's a stomach bug."

Both boys looked at her and then Harry said, "You don't think that she's-."

"No, she can't be," Ron said.

"She was fine before the accident," Harry said, "You know when that potion-oh dear gods."

"Harry, what's wrong?" Ginny asked.

"Remember that potion that Snape showed us nearly two weeks ago?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, I remember because it smelled like a baby's bottom," Ron said.

"Snape said that it mimicked sexual relations and he said that it was very prone, basically to explode, if exposed to by magic. A potion bottle was found in the remains of Hermione's bag."

"Oh dear Merlin, you don't think-."

"The Fertility Draught," Ron and Harry said at the same time.

"Lupin is going to be a-."

"And to think that our term was going to be normal," Ron said, shaking his head.

"If this is what happened then people will think that Hermione slept with Lupin to get a good grade," Ginny told them, "This could ruin her!"

"We need to tell McGonagall," Ron said.

"We need to tell Snape, as it was his potion that was stolen," Harry corrected.

"Do we have to?" Ron asked.

"Yes," Harry and Ginny said at the same time.

The three of them knew it was past curfew but they had to see Snape. Harry didn't even bother with the cloak as he was out for a good reason. Heck, he would go to Dumbledore if need be. Who would put a potion like that in Hermione's bag? Personally Harry would kill the wizard that did it.

Harry remembered the way to Snape's office from last year and he knocked three times on the door. A side door suddenly opened to reveal a very upset Potions Master.

"Well, well, what are three Gryffindor's doing out of bed?" he asked, sneering at them.

"We didn't want to be out but Ginny and Harry insisted," Ron told him.

He glared at him and Harry said, "That potion bottle that was found in Hermione's bag. Did you find any potion in it?"

"No, I didn't," Snape answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Because Hermione is sick and she wasn't sick before the accident," Harry told him, "And I know there was a potion in it. We think it was the potion that you showed us."

"Mr. Potter, if someone stole a sample of my potion they would be expelled," Snape told him.

"Is there any way to find out if Hermione has been exposed to the potion?" Ginny asked.

"I'll give you something if it will make you go away," Snape said and he disappeared inside his office only to return ten minutes later with a purple bottle. "Give this to Miss Granger in her pumpkin juice. If her hand glows then the potion was given to her."

"Thanks, Professor," Harry said, taking the potion.

They left before Snape could take points off.

The next morning Harry added the potion the pumpkin juice that Ginny had brought up from the Great Hall. Ginny took it and headed upstairs to where Hermione was.

"Here you go," Ginny said, handing the goblet to her.

"Thanks," Hermione said, taking a drink from it.

Hermione's hand glowed but she didn't notice it or Ginny's reaction. She excused herself and went down stairs.

"The potion was in her system," Ginny told them.

"Oh great," Ron moaned.

"We need to tell McGonagall," Harry told them.

"Do you think she'll believe us?" Ron asked.

"She has to and we did go to Snape and tell him," Ginny said.

In the end it was decided that they would go to McGonagall.

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"Do you think that she got some of the potion in her," Dumbledore asked Snape.

He had just heard from his Potions Master that Potter, Miss Weasley and Mr. Weasley had visited him after curfew.

"I don't know, Headmaster," Snape said, "But knowing those three they wouldn't of come down to see me if they didn't think that it had happened."

"Keep me informed, Severus," Dumbledore said, "If Miss Granger is pregnant then we must protect her. Sirius Black might go after her."

Snape nodded and left.

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Harry and Ron didn't see Hermione during the day and once Transfiguration is over to approach Professor McGonagall. They knew, from past experience, that she didn't like people rushing her.

"Don't you have dinner, Mr. Potter and Weasley?" she asked them.

"Yes, but we have something that we need to tell you," Harry said and then he explained about the potion, their theory that someone stole a sample of the potion and put it in Hermione's bag, the explosion that surrounded her and Professor Lupin, and the fact that Hermione was sick.

"We gave her the potion that Professor Snape gave us and her hand glowed. He said that it would glow if she was exposed to it."

"Dear Merlin, has Madam Pomfrey-."

"I don't think that she has," Harry said.

"Tell Miss Granger to go to the wing at once," McGonagall said, "I will be there with Professors Snape and Dumbledore."

"Yes, Professor," they said and they left.

An hour later, and with much argument from Hermione, they were all in Madam Pomfrey's infirmary. It had taken a lot to explain that someone had stolen a sample of the potion and had caused her and Lupin to be in contact with it. Professors McGonagall, Snape, and Dumbledore came in as well.

"Have you told Professor Lupin?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

"No, not until we know for sure," Dumbledore said.

"I just have a stomach bug," Hermione told them.

"I'm afraid that if you haven't been able to hold down food then I have to find out if you're pregnant."

"But I haven't been with anyone," Hermione said, close to tears.

"We know that you haven't," Harry told her.

"Let's get this done," Madam Pomfrey said.

"Use this spell to find out, for certain, if she's been exposed to by the potion," Snape started, handing her a piece of parchment.

Madam Pomfrey took it and muttered the spell. A wisp came forth make Harry and Ron back away.

"Damn it, I should have known," Snape hissed.

"Well now that we know that Miss Granger was exposed to the potion then we need to find out if she's pregnant."

"Oh trust me, she is," Snape told her.

"Do it, Poppy," Dumbledore ordered.

She waved her wand, muttered a spell, and Hermione's stomach was a swirl of colors. Bright blues and pink! She then said another spell and they separated.

"Dear gods," Professor McGonagall said, looking as though she was about to faint.

"Oh this is way too funny," Snape said and he broke down and laughed.

"It looks like your pregnant, Miss Granger," Madam Pomfrey said, "One girl and two boys!"

Snape laughed even more, saying through boughs of laughter, "Lupin, is going to be a daddy."

He missed the daggers of doom coming from Hermione's eyes. Eyes that said, I'm going to kill you.

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A/N: Now let's see what Lupin's reaction is going to be. Note: laughing Snape will be in the next chapter. I'll be back tomorrow with another chapter.


	3. Telling Lupin

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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To Everyone: Thanks for your wonderful reviews, they have been wonderful to read. To the guest, I know that this story might be unbelievable but we don't know everything about magic.

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Chapter 3: Telling Lupin

"I can't be pregnant," Hermione cried out.

Harry saw that she didn't look happy with this and he couldn't blame her.

"I'm afraid that you are, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said, sympathy in his voice, "We will have to inform Remus about this."

"No, I don't want him to know," Hermione said.

"I'm afraid that in the Wizarding world a father needs to be told," Snape said, "But we will all swear that someone stole the potion that landed you in this condition."

"Hermione, you still have friends," Harry said and Ron nodded. "If Lupin doesn't want to be apart of your children's lives then we sure as heck will."

"Yeah, we'll be their godfathers," Ron told her.

"Thanks, guys," Hermione said, smiling at them through her tears. "You're all great!"

She hugged both Harry and Ron, Ron going red.

"What I want to know is who could have stolen your potion," Dumbledore asked Snape.

"I don't know but I'm going to find out," Snape vowed.

"Well now that we're done plotting the downfall of a twisted student I want Miss Granger to take this potion every day and stay away from things that will put her baby's lives in danger."

"I'm going to have to tell my parents," Hermione said.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Dumbledore told her, "They won't understand how you got pregnant and think that you slept with your Professor. We don't need them to think less of you."

"Yeah, we don't need them to think that you're some scarlet woman."

"A what?"

"Honestly," Snape said.

"That's what mum calls them," Ron said, going red.

"Molly needs to brush up on her vocabulary," Snape commented.

"I'm not some scarlet woman!" Hermione said, "I'm a victim of a sick prank!"

"That, I totally agree with," Snape told her.

"Well I need to break the news to Remus," Dumbledore told them, "Be nice and remember that Hogwarts will protect you from any more 'attacks.'"

"Thanks, Headmaster," Hermione said and Dumbledore left the wing.

When Dumbledore headed back to his office he fire called Remus. He really hated hitting the poor man with this but he had to be told. He also thought over who would want to ruin Miss Granger's reputation. The only person that came to mind was Lucius son, Draco. He sat down and waited until Remus knocked on the door.

"You called me," he asked.

"Yes, how are you feeling?" Dumbledore asked him.

"Well," Remus answered, setting down, "But I sense that you're not here to ask me about my health."

"Then you would be correct," Dumbledore said to him, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Do you remember the accident in Defense class two weeks ago?"

"Of course," Remus answered, giving him an odd look. "What's going on?"

"I'm afraid that the bottle contained a Fertility Draught that Severus was showing his third year class to get them ready for the kinds of potions that they will be brewing in their sixth. It causes pregnancy without sexual intercourse. Miss Granger is pregnant with your children."

Remus fainted.

"Oh dear!" Dumbledore said, chuckling.

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"Now I'm really laughing my head off," Snape said when he came by to give Remus something to wake him up, "Remus, fainting at the idea of tiny little feet running around."

"Shut up, Snape," Remus hissed.

"Oh sorry about having a good laugh," he said, grinning.

"Enough, both of you," Dumbledore said, "Yes, it's funny but we have more important things to worry about. Now Miss Granger is two weeks along and that means that she'll have our new Hogwarts students in August. I've told her not to tell her parents because they won't understand them being muggles. I will be asking all of the Professors to watch out for her and drop her, temporary from Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, and Potions."

"Of course," Snape said.

"I'm going to Madam Bones so that she knows of what's going on," Dumbledore said, "We need her permission to hunt down the student that did this."

"And make them pay," Remus said.

"Of course," Dumbledore said.

"Let's hope their fat and rich," Remus committed.

"If it's the Malfoy's then you better believe it," Dumbledore said and Snape nodded. "I told Miss Granger that we have to inform you of what happened and she didn't want you to know. I think the whole thing has turned into one huge shock for her."

"Oh I wonder what gave you that impression," Snape said.

"Severus, thought the whole thing was funny," Dumbledore told him.

Remus glared at him but Snape laughed.

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"How are you feeling?" Ginny asked when Hermione came back.

"I'm fine," Hermione said, "The potion that Madam Pomfrey gave me is keeping my morning sickness away."

Ginny's eyes widened and she said, "So you're pregnant."

"Yes, Ginny, I am but don't tell anyone. I don't want the Slytherin's to think that I'm some kind of whore."

Ginny snorted and said, "I'm not about to give them anything to attack you with."

"Thanks," Hermione said and then she went up to get some work done.

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"How are you feeling?" Dumbledore asked Remus when Snape had left to start figuring out who had slipped the bottle of potion in Hermione's bag.

"How do you think I'm feeling," Remus snapped, "I'm not ready to be a father."

"True, but somehow these things happen," Dumbledore said, the wheels in his brain starting to work. "Think about having your sons and daughter listening to every word that you're saying. Nothing beats the feeling, trust me."

"What kind of father would I be? I'm a damn werewolf."

"I don't think that Hermione will care," Dumbledore told him. "In-fact, I think that she may have figured it out."

Remus growled and Dumbledore went on, "Hermione, from what I can tell, is not like the other students. She's far more mature for her age and the fact that she didn't ask for them to be aborted tells us a great deal about whom she is as a person."

"I don't know."

"Well Potter and Weasley have vowed to be with her even if you're not," Dumbledore told him.

"He's just like his mother!" Remus stated.

"That, he is."

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A/N: I'm so glad that everyone is enjoying my story. I will try and update twice a day, if I can.


	4. Conversation

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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A/N: I would like to thank everyone for reviewing, you make me smile. I'm going to start doing voting on names of children. Remember its two boys and a girl. We'll do first names, first, and then vote on middle names. I got to warn you that this might be a small chapter.

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Chapter 4: Conversation

For, Hermione, the week went by quickly. Soon it was Saturday and Hermione decided to spend it in the Library. She had just placed her books down when a Hufflepuff Prefect came over to her table and handed her a note.

"From Professor Lupin," she said.

She gulped but took the letter, "Thanks."

She opened the letter and read:

Hermione,

Come to my office after dinner, tonight, so that we can talk.

Professor Lupin

"Too short," Hermione said and she went back to her work.

When dinner was over she told Harry, Ron, and Ginny that she was going to see Professor Lupin.

"Tell him that if he doesn't want anything to do with your children then we'll take care of them," Harry told her.

"I will," Hermione promised and she left the Great Hall.

Hermione had never been to the Defense office because she hadn't done anything wrong to be called. However, Harry gave her directions on how to get there and so she was able to find it without any problem. She knocked on the door and waited.

"Enter," Lupin called and Hermione took a deep breath and entered.

The office looked homey and quaint when she entered and she found Professor Lupin setting behind his desk. He looked up at her and she wondered what would happen next.

"Thanks, for coming," he told her.

"You wanted to talk to me," she said to him.

"Yes," he said. "Albus, told me about what happened."

"I don't know what to do," she confessed.

"Hermione, you know it's against Wizarding law to abort a child," Lupin told her.

"Yes, I read up on laws concerning this," Hermione told him.

"Have you read up on all of them?" Lupin asked.

"Not every one of them," Hermione confessed.

"According to Wizarding law we have to marry when you turn sixteen, since sixteen is the age that a witch can legally marry. It's a way of insuring that the child, or children, is not considered bastards. Your fourteen now, right?"

"Yes," she said.

"Then we have two years," Lupin told her.

"Are you even shocked that I'm pregnant this way?" Hermione asked him.

"Of course I am," Lupin said, "And I don't want our children to grow up without a father. But you have to understand how our children will be viewed."

"Because you're a werewolf," Hermione said.

"How-ever mind."

"Do you think that I'm one of those bigots that hate someone because their different," she snapped, "Because I hate to break the news, sweetheart, I'm not. You're not going to use that argument with me."

"How can you not hate me, I kill people."

"And I bet you take Wolfbane," Hermione said. "I found out about the potion when I was doing Snape's essay."

"Yes," Lupin said.

"Then there's nothing wrong with you," she told him, her tone telling him that she would take no for an answer.

"Gods, people are going to hate you."

"Then let them," Hermione said, "Because I'm not going to do anything to make you think that I'm like them. I don't care about popularity or what others think. What I care about are these three kids that are growing inside me and if you even want to be in their lives."

"Of course I do."

"Then this conversation is over," Hermione said and she left him alone with his thoughts.

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"I told you that she would accept you," Dumbledore told him after Lupin told him what Hermione had said.

"I don't know how she can stand being in the same room as me," Lupin said to him.

Dumbledore smiled at him and said, "Miss Granger is a very extraordinary witch. I must say that she's nearly like Lily at that age. However she understands about the law and is willing to accept what Fate has given her."

"I wish that Severus hadn't shown that potion off."

"True, but life doesn't work on what we wish hadn't happened."

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A/N: Now that the 'talk' is over we can move on like responsible adults. I'll be back tomorrow with two more chapters.

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	5. Christmas Break

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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A/N: Once again, would like to thank you for your reviews. They have been such a joy in reading.

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Chapter 5: Christmas Break

Hermione, personally, was glad when the term ended. Most everyone was going home except for Harry and the Weasley's. Her morning sickness continued but Madam Pomfrey told her that it should be over by time term began again.

"Good, because I'm starting to get tired of drinking this potion," Hermione told her.

Madam Pomfrey said nothing, which she was glad about.

Soon the halls were empty and a peace fell upon the castle that made Hermione wish that it was like this all the time. She didn't see much of Lupin since she had a talk with him and she hoped that she would see him during Christmas. They had a lot of things to get done and only nearly six months left to do them.

"I hope that you're not going to go back to Hogsmead when term begins," Hermione asked Harry.

"No, not after what happened," Harry said.

"I know that it was difficult for you to hear," Hermione said, "And I would personally want revenge myself."

"No, you don't know how I feel," Harry snapped and he left the common room.

"Great going, Hermione," Ron said.

Hermione sighed and closed her book. She later on told McGonagall about what happened, minus the fact that Harry had gone into Hogsmead without permission.

"He needs to think clearly," she said, "Nothing is going to get done if he keeps on flying off the handle like that."

"I know," Hermione said, "Mum and dad told me that if you rush in on things then someone ends up getting hurt."

"That I'll agree with them on," she said, "He needs to allow the Ministry to catch him."

"I'm afraid that he won't."

"Then he's a fool," McGonagall said.

Hermione let Harry cool off over the next several days. She wasn't about to give up on him just because she believed that he was going to get himself killed if he tried anything else. Ron was not as mad as Harry was but she kept her mouth shut. She had other important things to think about and they weren't centered on Harry.

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"So what did Madam Bones say?" Remus asked when Dumbledore had come back from the Ministry.

Dumbledore sat down and looked at his friend, saying, "She wants us to find out who stole the sample and have them arrested. They will be force to pay half of their fortune to both you and Hermione."

"Even though I'm a werewolf," Remus pointed out.

"She believes me when I told her that you had no hand in it," Dumbledore said, "So I'm taking her permission and using it."

"What is your plan?" Remus asked.

"Give me time and I'll come up with one," Dumbledore told him, "I'm going to also have to move carefully if I want this thing to work."

Remus said nothing.

Snape came around with the usual Wolfbane and he drank it at once. He really hated the taste but it beat tearing people up. He shuttered to think of what he could do to Hermione. Later that night he was eating dinner when he thought he heard someone knocking on his door.

"Enter," he called out.

The door opened and in walked someone that made Remus's blood boil. Standing there, wearing prison robes, was Sirius Black.

"Hello, Moody."

"YOU!" Remus bellowed and he launched at him, his wand forgotten.

He knocked him to the ground and started to hit him wherever he could.

"Remus, stop it," Sirius said.

"You traitor, you filthy traitor," Remus snarled.

"I didn't do it," Sirius said, "I didn't betray Lily and James Potter."

"Like I believe that," he said.

"Stop it, Remus, before you knock me out," Sirius said, "And then you'll never find out the truth."

Remus gave him one last hit and then stood up.

"Make it quick before I call Dumbledore in here," Remus demanded.

"We changed, Remus," Sirius said, "Peter Pettigrew was the Potter's Secret Keeper."

"And why would they change?" Remus asked.

"Because I told them to," Sirius answered, "Look, you don't have to believe me but it's the truth. They died because I had them change from me to Peter. I had no idea the little rat was really working for Voldemort. Remus, he's been living as Ron's rat and Potter is in grave danger."

Remus didn't believe him but he said, "I'm getting Dumbledore."

"And why?" Sirius asked.

"Because you won't be able to fool him," Remus told him.

Sirius sighed and nodded. Remus fired called Dumbledore, telling him that he needed to see him.

Three hours later Madam Bones left Remus's office, shaking her head. Kingsley and Moody were with him and she said, "I want you to search every place a rat could be, Alister, I want Peter found and kissed by the end of this week."

"Yes, ma'am," Kingsley said.

"Well I must say that this has been one exciting night," Sirius said, "So what is this about babies?"

Remus groaned and Sirius laughed.

"We are trying to figure out who stole the sample from Severus cauldron," Dumbledore said.

"How do you know that it wasn't Snivl-."

"Don't use that word here," Remus cut in.

"Okay, sorry," he said, "So how do you know that it wasn't Snape?"

"Because he wouldn't do something like that," Remus said, "And Dumbledore monitors everyone. Also, Severus has been busy brewing my potion; he doesn't leave the lab until it's done."

"And he's not sick," Dumbledore said. "Someone else did and they are going to pay."

"Well if the sweet tart wants to use my house then she can."

"Oh and have you pawing her, I don't think so," Remus said.

"Ooh, does someone like the girl that he got pregnant?" Sirius taunted.

Remus growled at him.

"That's enough, Sirius," Dumbledore said, "Until Peter is caught you can't be seen out. Harry already wants to kill you."

Sirius nodded and thankfully remained silent.

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Votes For The Boys And Girl

William: 2

Romulus: 2

Lily: 2

Tala: 1

Celina: 1

Tasha: 1

Tate: 1

Raoul: 1

Conan: 1

Connor: 1

Accalia: 1

Selene: 1

A/N: Selene is my choice of name to vote on. I'll post a new chapter tomorrow.


	6. Core Check

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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A/N: Once again, would like to thank you for your reviews. I got one guest review that said they hated the story; none of the characters are believable. If you don't like the story, then don't read. I'm not making you.

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Chapter 6: Core Check

Christmas came and went, with Harry getting a new broom from someone that hadn't left a note. Hermione was over two months along and she was starting to show a little. Not enough to warrant notice but she could see it when she looked down. Gods, she wished that her mother was here to help her with this. She got a note from Madam Pomfrey, telling her that she needed to come and get her baby's cores checked.

She had no idea why.

"It's to see if your children have magic," Ginny explained, "Mum, explained it to me over the summer."

"Okay," Hermione said slowly, "that makes sense."

"Of course it does," Ginny said.

So that's how Hermione found herself on Sunday, with Harry, Ron, Ginny, Remus, Snape, and Dumbledore. Madam Pomfrey and McGonagall both cast the spell over her and Hermione waited to see what would happen. A stream of parchment appeared and Dumbledore took it to read.

"All three of them have magic, really high numbers," Dumbledore told them.

"What do you mean, high numbers?" Snape asked.

Dumbledore grinned and Hermione had a bad feeling he was plotting something. He said, "They are going to be more powerful than their parents when they arrive and Miss Granger's core hasn't reached its full level of maturity."

"Are you telling me that, in the end, their children are going to be more powerful than the Dark Lord," Snape said.

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Dumbledore said.

"Oh great, the triple terrors are coming," Ron moaned.

"Hay, I thought that you supported me," Hermione told him.

"I do, but honestly their going to be worse than the twins."

"Well then you'll just have to make sure that they keep out of trouble," Ginny said.

"Yeah, ask mum if she's been able to do that," Ron told her.

Ginny laughed.

"And," Dumbledore went on, "They don't have the curse. They will not be changing into werewolves."

Remus fainted at that news.

"What, what did I say?" Dumbledore asked.

Madam Pomfrey shook her head while Snape laughed again.

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Votes For The Boys And Girl

William: 6

Romulus: 6

Lily: 2

Tala: 2

Celina: 1

Tasha: 2

Tate: 3

Raoul: 2

Conan: 1

Connor: 3

Accalia: 1

Selene: 5

Alexander: 1

John: 1

Brian: 1

Michael: 1

Rose: 1

Jessica: 1

Lila: 1

Elizabeth: 1


	7. Returning To Lessons

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: T

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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A/N: Once again, would like to thank you for your reviews. If I haven't opened the e-mail containing your vote I will do that and change it for the next chapter.

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Chapter 7: Returning To Lessons

Harry was still in a bad mood with Hermione for the rest of the Christmas break. Hermione knew that she was doing this for his own good but he just wouldn't see it that way. The only person that was willing to talk to her about the broom was Ginny.

"He'll get over it," Ginny said, "He knows that you care about his safety, he just wants to win the next match."

"I think the only reason why he wants to win the next match because it's with Ravenclaw."

Hermione had noticed how Harry acted when Cho Chang passed by. He had a crush on her, big time.

"Can't stand Chang," Ginny said, "What right does she think to walk around, enticing young wizards."

"You still have a crush on Harry, don't you," Hermione said.

"You better believe it," Ginny said.

Hermione sighed and said, "I guess I'm not the only one that's having trouble."

"Getting off the topic of Harry and what's going on with him, have you found out who put that bottle in your bag."

"No, and it's really getting on my nerves," Hermione said, "I mean, how hard is it to find out who did it?"

"What I'm wondering is who hates you enough to do that?" Ginny asked.

"Malfoy," Hermione answered.

"Which one?" Ginny asked.

"Doesn't matter," Hermione answered.

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"It has to be Malfoy," Remus said.

"Which one?" Dumbledore asked.

"Doesn't matter," Remus answered.

"I think that it does," Dumbledore said, "I'm not about to go to Madam Bones and tell her that you think that Lucius or Draco did this."

Remus gave him a glaring look and McGonagall said, "I agree, we have to be very careful."

"What is Severus doing right now?" Remus asked. "Is he even thinking about how to keep me from being labeled a child molester?"

"Remus, we know that your not," Dumbledore told him.

Remus snorted and said, "Tell that to people."

"And I'll defend you," Dumbledore told him, trying to assure him that everything would be alright. "Look, Miss Granger doesn't care about you being a werewolf and she's never called you that horrible term. Don't beat yourself over it."

"But how can I just forget that she's carrying my children?"

"You can't but you can give them the best life possible, which happens to include Miss Granger."

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Hermione, personally, was glad when term began again. Being nearly three months along she could now feel some kind of movement. Professor Flitwick had extended her skirt waistband a little so that she wouldn't feel like she was wearing something that was a little bit too small. She sat down at the Gryffindor table and saw a note waiting on her. She opened it and read:

Miss Granger,

Report to my office when you're done eating.

Professor M. McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

"Why does she want to talk to you?" Ginny asked.

"I don't know but I guess I'll find out when I'm done," Hermione told her and she started back on her food.

"Let's hope its good," Ginny said, and then started on her food.

When Hermione was finished she gathered her things and headed for Professor McGonagall's office. She had only been there, once, when she got her Time Turner. Personally she wondered what she might have done to warrant a trip to her Head of House's office. When she arrived she knocked on the door and waited.

"Enter, Miss Granger," McGonagall said and Hermione opened the door and saw not only McGonagall but Dumbledore as well.

"You wanted to see me," Hermione said.

"Please, sit down," Dumbledore said and she sat down in one of two seats in-front of her desk.

"Miss Granger, now that you're nearly three months along the Headmaster has decided that it's about time that you drop classes that could be damaging to your children and yourself. Time travel can hurt them and we don't want that."

Hermione stared at her but said nothing.

"Therefore you're dropping Charms, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Divination, Potions, Care of Magical Creatures, Arthmancy, and Potions."

"But most of them are required courses," Hermione said, "I would have to repeat my third year."

"I know how you feel but we can't afford you to take that risk," Dumbledore said, "You can still read the books but right now the only classes that I want you to be taking are History of Magic, Muggle Studies, and Astronomy."

Hermione hated this, she hated her body, and she hated the person that put her in this situation.

"You will be allowed to stay at Hogwarts over the summer due to the fact that your parents might cause you to have more problems. Now during your next year at Hogwarts a house elf will take care of your children while you're in classes. You'll be able to return to a full class schedule when you're back to normal."

"Fine," Hermione said.

"I need the time turner, Miss Granger," McGonagall said and Hermione took it off and handed it to her.

"Enjoy your time off, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said, "Indulge yourself with the Library and maybe a nice box of chocolates."

Hermione would need chocolate ice cream for this.

When she told Ginny about what happened Ginny shook her head, but said, "I wouldn't be surprised if you were told that you can't take those classes. So what are you going to do?"

"Complain about turning into a fat cow," Hermione answered.

"You're not a fat cow," Ginny told her.

"Thanks for lying," Hermione said.

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Votes For The Boys And Girl

William: 4

Romulus: 2

Lily: 2

Tala: 1

Celina: 1

Tasha: 2

Tate: 2

Raoul: 1

Conan: 1

Connor: 3

Accalia: 1

Selene: 2

Alexander: 1

John: 1

Brian: 1

Michael: 1

Rose: 1

Jessica: 1

Lila: 1

Elizabeth: 1


	8. Catching Peter

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: T

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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A/N: Once again, would like to thank you for your reviews. They have been such a joy in reading.

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Chapter 8: Catching Peter

As the month of January continued Dumbledore hid the fact that they were looking for Peter from the school. He didn't want Ron to know that Scabbers was Peter. Keeping Sirius away from others proved to be more challenging. He wanted to get out and see Harry but Dumbledore told him that Harry would most likely attack him.

"I have the right to see him," Sirius said.

"Until you're free of all charges, which means capturing Peter, then you're still wanted," Dumbledore told him.

"He's not going to listen to you," Snape said.

"Shut up, Snivellus," Sirius snarled.

"That's enough," Dumbledore said, his tone cold, "How many times do I have to tell you not to call my Potions Master that."

"Oh well, sorry," Sirius snapped.

Both Severus and Sirius glared at each other.

"Why me?" Dumbledore asked.

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"How are you doing by yourself?" Ginny asked.

"Eating junk food," Hermione answered.

Since Hermione could only go to Muggle Studies and History of Magic she had been pigging out on junk food. Madam Pomfrey said that it could be a craving but Hermione said that she didn't want to hear it.

"I don't want some medical excuse as to why I hate laying in bed," Hermione said, "Junk food makes my pain go away."

"It's going to make you fatter than your suppose to be," Ginny told her.

Hermione glared at her and said, "If you take away my Ho Ho's I'm going to kill you."

Ginny rolled her eyes.

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"You know I was thinking about something," Ginny said to Harry and Ron.

"It better not have Hermione's love of junk food in it," Ron said, "Honestly, she's a worst nightmare then she was two years ago."

"What is it?" Harry asked, ignoring Ron.

"Well we all know that Hermione had this test done to make sure that her children have magic. Why couldn't they of done it with Neville. I mean, it would have made him feel better knowing that he wasn't a squib."

"I think his parents were just too lazy and assumed that Neville would be born with magic," Harry said, "They have all sorts of tests in the muggle world to make sure the baby is healthy and doesn't have any problems."

"Like what?"

"Like tests," Harry said, "I remember Aunt Petunia wanting another child and she was talking to Uncle Vernon about things like spinal taps and prenatal vitamins. I tuned it out because it was pretty gross."

"Only men would think stuff like that was gross."

"Harry," came Hermione's voice.

"Oh great, what does she want?" Ron asked.

"Could you tell Dumbledore that I want some gumbo, chocolate ice-cream, and garlic bread," Hermione said.

"What?" Ron asked.

"I'll go," Ginny said and she left the common room.

"And there better be hot sauce in there as well," Hermione called out.

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"She wants WHAT!" Remus said when Ginny told Dumbledore that Hermione wanted gumbo, chocolate ice-cream, and garlic bread.

Dumbledore chuckled and said, "Looks like the cravings are coming."

"Why would anyone want stuff that doesn't go together?" Remus asked.

"I think she might be lacking in something," Madam Pomfrey said as Dumbledore summoned a house elf.

"And she wants you to make sure there's plenty of hot sauce in it as well."

"Bulb, get us some gumbo, with hot sauce, chocolate ice-cream, and garlic bread."

"Bulb will get it right now," she said and she was gone.

Thirty minutes later she was back with a bag and she handed it to Ginny.

"Thanks," Ginny said and she hurried off.

"I swear, she's never getting pregnant…ever," Remus said.

"If you think that was bad, imagine if she had a craving for dirt," Dumbledore pointed out.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Remus said.

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"Another chapter to laugh about," Snape said as he entered his office for some late night grading.

He sat down and pulled the papers towards him. Even though he would never admit it he did miss Miss Granger always having her hand up, trying to answer a question. That man didn't know what a gem he was getting, even though it had happened by no fault but some idiot that thought that he, or she, could do whatever they wanted to another human being. He wanted Miss Granger back in his classroom. Life was dull without her around.

He continued to think about the whole thing, including who could have given her that potion, when he noticed something in the corner. He stared at it and noticed that it was a rat. All the rats had been killed so there shouldn't be any left. He went back to his grading and then got up and pretended that he was looking for something. Quicker than blinking he had his wand out and casting a containment spell. The rat wasn't able to move or get away. He then fire called Dumbledore, saying, "I think I've found Peter."

"Great," Dumbledore said, "I'll be down there at once."

He then levitated the rat onto a table and waited.

When both Dumbledore and Remus walked into the office Snape showed the rat to them. Remus's growling told Snape that they had caught the traitor.

"Is that, Peter?" Dumbledore asked him.

"Yes," Remus answered.

"I'll get Madam Bones at once," Dumbledore told them and he left to get her.

Several hours later Peter was taken away to be kissed and the castle settled itself once more into peace, except for the: "HARRY, I NEED MORE GUMBO."

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A/N: To make this story more 'believable' I did some research on cravings and found out they can happen right away to several months along. I chose three months along for Hermione's cravings.

Votes For The Boys And Girl

William: 7

Romulus: 8

Lily: 3

Tala: 2

Celina: 1

Tasha: 2

Tate: 4

Raoul: 2

Conan: 1

Connor: 7

Accalia: 1

Selene: 7

Alexander: 5

John: 1

Brian: 1

Michael: 1

Rose: 2

Jessica: 1

Lila: 2

Elizabeth: 3


	9. Thief Uncovered

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: T

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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A/N: Once again, would like to thank you for your reviews. They have been such a joy in reading.

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Chapter 9: Thief Uncovered

News that Peter had been found alive and had confessed to betraying the Potters sent a shockwave through the Wizarding world. If his mother wasn't already dead what the paper said would have killed her. Hermione read it, while eating some of the gumbo that was now in abundance at the school.

"I can't believe that you actually eat that stuff," Ron said.

"It's great!" Hermione said, smiling at him.

"Well I think it's disgusting," Ron told her.

Hermione stuck her tongue out and went back eating.

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"I think I've figured out how to find out who did this," Snape said to Dumbledore.

He showed the Headmaster a book that he had managed to finally get his hands on. He flipped to the page that he wanted to show his boss and Dumbledore read it over. He nodded and then said, "It's a little bit dark but Madam Bones will understand."

"I'm sure she will," Snape said and then he pulled out his wand and said, "Fur Ostendit."

He focused on the desire to find the thief and suddenly there was a flash of scarlet light and Lavender Brown sat there.

"Miss Brown," Dumbledore said, shocked.

"Looks like we found our thief," Snape said.

"I didn't do anything," she said.

"Oh I think that you have," Dumbledore told her, in a tone that told Snape that he was very angry but managing not to low things up. "Severus, bring her to my office and you better not get away, Miss Brown."

She glared at them and Snape hauled up and had her follow him.

During the next hour Dumbledore asked her questions under one of Snape's most powerful truth potions.

"How did you find out that Professor Snape was going to talk about that Potion?"

"I heard him talking to Professor McGonagall about it," Brown answered.

"How did you keep Professor Snape's ward from going off?"

"I was the last one out and so I used a spell that I found in the Library and made myself invisible."

Snape felt his blood boiling.

"When did you put the potion in Miss Granger's bag and what was the reason?"

"During Care of Magical Creatures," Brown answered, "I wanted to do it so that the school would think that Granger was a slut, sleeping with a teacher to get a better grade. Everyone says that she's sleeping with all the Professors because no damn Mudblood can get that good of a grade without doing something on the side."

Snape's blood boiled even more.

"Get Madam Bones before you blow something up," Dumbledore said.

"I want to kill her," Snape snarled.

"Now," Dumbledore ordered and Snape left.

Later that day Dumbledore called in Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Professor Lupin to tell them that they had found out who had done it.

"What, that little pea brain tart is the reason that I'm eating more food then a moose," Hermione snarled when Dumbledore told her.

"I'm sorry about what's happening and the Brown family will pay big for what happened."

"How would Brown know what a slut is?" Hermione asked, "Unless she's one herself."

"Will there be a trial?" Harry asked.

"Yes, this is very serious," Dumbledore answered, "Once again, I'm sorry about what Lavender Brown did."

"I'm going to kill her," Hermione spat, "I'm going to burn her eyes and hair out. I'm going to rip her spleen out and make her eat it. I'm going to stick her in a tank full of human urine and defecate on her. That little bitch isn't going to get away with trying to make people think that I'm a slut."

"Hermione!" Harry said.

Then Hermione burst into tears.

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A/N: Sorry about this being a short chapter but I will include a trial in this story.

Translations

Fur: either gender for thief

Ostendit: To reveal what's hidden

Votes for Boys and Girl

William: 10

Romulus: 10

Lily: 3

Tala: 2

Celina: 1

Tasha: 2

Tate: 5

Raoul: 2

Conan: 1

Connor: 9

Accalia: 1

Selene: 11

Alexander: 7

John: 1

Brian: 1

Michael: 1

Rose: 3

Jessica: 1

Lila: 2

Elizabeth: 3


	10. The Trial

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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A/N: Once again, would like to thank you for your reviews. They have been such a joy in reading.

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Chapter 10:The Trial

"WHAT!" Hermione screamed when Dumbledore told her who had slipped the potion into her bag, "That little walking bitch!"

"Miss Granger, calm down," Madam Bones said.

"Oh I'm not going to calm down not until I cut her up and give her body parts as a gift to Professor Snape to use as his potion ingredients."

"Getting upset isn't going to help matters," Dumbledore told her, "She's going to be tried before the Ministry of Magic and she will head to Azkaban."

"I want to be there and tell them what the little bitch has done to me and my life," Hermione said, "I want her to know what it feels to know that I have the power to put her away."

"Miss Granger, naturally you will be allowed to testify but you need to claim down."

"Think about the babies," Madam Pomfrey said.

"Oh I'm thinking about them and I'm going to teach my little girl how to properly place girls like her in their place. A few hard kicks between the legs so they can't reproduce."

Hermione grinned like a bad woman.

"Merlin, help us," Snape said.

"The trial will take place next week," Madam Bones said, "I want to put this tart in Azkaban before something else happens."

"I agree," Dumbledore said and everyone left to make sure that they weren't busy on any day next week.

Hermione managed to calm down during the weekend and she got a letter, telling her that the trial would take place on Friday at eleven.

"So how long is this?" Harry asked.

"It should be for a couple of hours," Ron answered, "They have all the proof that they need that Brown did this."

"I can't wait to see her in Azkaban," Hermione said, "She's put me through hell and she's going to pay."

"Well her family will pay as well," Ron added, "They will probably lose half their fortune, which means that you're going to be comfortable for a long time."

"Well I'm still going to help," Harry told them.

"Thanks so much, guys," Hermione said, kissing them both on the cheek.

"So have you gone baby shopping?" Ron asked.

"Don't have any money and I won't write to my parents," Hermione answered.

"I'll go with you," Harry said.

"But you can't leave Hogwarts," Hermione told him, "You don't have a signed form."

"I'll talk to Dumbledore about it," Harry told her, "I do want you to have something to put them in. They can't be on a hard floor."

"I agree, Harry," Hermione said.

"So how are those cravings?" Ron asked her.

"Still going strong," Hermione said and then she got up and ran out of the Great Hall.

The next week Hermione was given something for her stomach and then they took her to the Ministry of Magic, Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Since she didn't have her wand with her the only ones that had to go to the guard was Professors Snape, Dumbledore, and Lupin. Once the wands had been given back they headed to the courtroom.

"Which one will it be?" Hermione asked.

"Courtroom three," Dumbledore answered.

Snape helped Hermione get down the stairs by picking her up and helping her that way. Hermione was shocked that Snape actually cared about her well-being. He placed her on her feet and then they continued on their way, going down the hall and out of sight. Courtroom three was a simple room that had benches for the judges and a chair for the defendant.

Hermione sat down next to Dumbledore and waited. A couple of people came and chatted with the Headmaster and Hermione couldn't believe all the things that they were talking about.

"The Headmaster has tons of friends," Lupin said.

"I figured it that much," Hermione told him.

"And they are all annoying," Snape grumbled.

"I didn't know that you were talking about yourself, Severus," Dumbledore said and Hermione laughed.

Snape glared and then said, "If those three end up walking copies of Headmaster Dumbledore I'm going to jump off the cliff."

"Don't worry, Severus, I'm sure that our smart Miss Granger will keep that from happening," Dumbledore told him.

Hermione grinned.

Suddenly the gavel was hit and Hermione turned her attention to the room. Madam Bones cleared her throat and said, "The Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Ministry of Magic, calls all of you today to hear testimony against one Lavender Brown, third year Gryffindor. She has been charged with stealing a very powerful potion and using it as a form of revenge against one Hermione Jean Granger. Bring the defendant in."

The door opened and two Dementors came in with one very shaking Lavender. She looked as though all the color had been drained from her body. But Hermione didn't care; look at what she had done to her. She was forced to sit down and they all waited.

"Miss Brown, you know the charges that are against you," Madam Bones said, "How do you plea?"

"Not guilty," she answered.

Why that little!

"Calm down, Hermione," Dumbledore urged, "You don't want to have a magical outburst."

"I'll have one if it burns Lavender up," Hermione spat.

"Calm down," Dumbledore repeated and Hermione felt the effects of a spell that Dumbledore had cast on her.

She calmed down but she was still mad.

"Professor Snape, please rise up and tell us what happened," Madam Bones said.

Hermione saw Snape stand up and he began.

"Around October I decided to show my third year Potions class a potion that will be covered during their sixth. I had it cleared by the Ministry before I showed it. I explained the effects of the potion and then I left it alone when I thought that all of the students were gone. Later I found out that the potion had been used on Miss Granger during her Defense Against the Dark Arts class. It was later discovered, under a powerful truth potion, that it was Miss Brown that had stole it."

"And what was her reason for stealing it?" Madam Bones asked.

"To make students think that she was sleeping around with her Professors," Snape answered, "She doesn't believe that Miss Granger is smart."

"And who is the father?" Madam Bones asked.

"Remus Lupin," Snape said.

"Thank you," Madam Bones said and he sat down. "I call on Albus Dumbledore, stand up."

Dumbledore stood up and Hermione waited.

"What is your impression of Miss Brown?" Madam Bones asked.

"She seems like a bright student but she doesn't use those brains. She is very prone to not thinking and imagining the worse in people."

"And your impression of Miss Granger?" Madam Bones asked.

"A very bright student, smart to the point that she should have been in Ravenclaw," Dumbledore answered, "What Miss Brown did was something that a normal human being shouldn't have done to them."

Madam Bones wrote this down and that's when Hermione saw that she was writing everything down.

"Auror Shacklebolt, give Miss Brown the truth potion," Madam Bones ordered and the potion was forced into her mouth. "State your name."

"Lavender Brown."

"What year are you in?"

"Third," Lavender answered in a toneless voice.

"What house?"

"Gryffindor," she answered.

"Why did you steal this sample from Professor Snape?" she asked Lavender.

"For revenge," Lavender answered.

"Explain," Madam Bones said.

"Because Granger is smart and is always outdoing others," she answered, "I knew that there had to be a reason why she was getting better grades and I figured out that she was sleeping with the Professors. So I believed that if I stole it from her and got her pregnant that the students and staff would believe that she did sleep with someone."

"When did you place the potion in her bag?" Madam Bones asked.

"During Care of Magical Creatures," Lavender answered, "No one noticed what I did, not even that oaf, Hagrid."

"Hagrid is not an oaf!" Hermione snarled.

"I know but this is hate talking," Snape told her. "She hates the idea that she's been caught."

"Give her the antidote," Madam Bones ordered and Kingsley poured some down her throat. "I believe, Miss Brown, that you hated Miss Granger so much that you were willing to break the law. Raise your hands if you believe that Miss Brown is guilty on all charges."

Everyone raised their hands and Hermione felt excited. Lavender gave her such a look that it told her that she better watch her back.

"You have been found guilty of stealing a powerful draught from Professor Snape," Madam Bones said to her, "You will be placed in Azkaban for twenty years, so that her children don't have to worry about you poisoning them in their sleep. And half your family's fortune shall be given to Miss Granger so that she can raise her children and make sure that they can get things. The money will be available before your next Hogsmead visit. Take her away."

As they dragged Lavender out she screamed, "I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS, YOU BITCH. I'LL KILL YOU AND I'LL KILL YOUR BRATS!"

"Not before I kill you first," Hermione vowed. "Stay the hell away from my babies."

Hermione was knocked out by time she got back to Hogwarts that all she wanted to do was sleep. Thankfully Harry, Ron, and Ginny understood and allowed her the peace. She fell asleep, thinking about how great her day had been and how she was grateful for any help that she was getting.

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A/N: I hope that I did this chapter right. Lavender Brown is a piece of work. I'll be back in a couple of days with a new chapter, though I will be working on it during the time that I'm not posting. Only three more chapters and this story will be done.

Votes for Boys and Girl

William: 10

Romulus: 10

Lily: 3

Tala: 2

Celina: 1

Tasha: 2

Tate: 5

Raoul: 2

Conan: 1

Connor: 9

Accalia: 1

Selene: 11

Alexander: 7

John: 1

Brian: 1

Michael: 1

Rose: 3

Jessica: 1

Lila: 2

Elizabeth: 3


	11. Going Baby Shopping

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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A/N: Once again, would like to thank you for your reviews. They have been such a joy in reading. I have to warn you that this might not be a long chapter.

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Chapter 11: Going Baby Shopping

"So, you won," Ginny said when Hermione had fully recovered from the whole thing.

"Yes," Hermione said, grinning," That Lavender bitch is now rotting in Azkaban."

"Glad to hear that," Ginny said, "Didn't think that this would ever end. Oh, Harry has gotten permission to go to Hogsmead to get you some things. Of course the others just had to go and I heard their dragging Snape along."

"I don't know why?" Ron said, "He's not going to get anything worth having to those three."

"I think it's a great idea," Hermione said. "Might help him realize that he needs to have contact with the outside world."

Ginny laughed at Hermione's comment.

So during the next Hogsmead visit a whole group of people left the castle and headed to Hogsmead. Since Peter had been found the Dementors were gone and so Hermione didn't have to worry about one of them trying to suck her soul out.

"So where are we going?" Hermione asked.

"Tiny Wizards," McGonagall answered, "All your baby needs in one cute store."

"I think I'm about to vomit," Snape said.

"Hay, your going to be the third godfather, so don't complain," Hermione told him, in a tone that reminded many of Mrs. Weasley.

"And who is one and two?"

"Guess," Hermione answered.

"Oh great Potter and Weasley," Snape moaned.

"You better believe it, pal," Hermione said and they entered Hogsmead.

The shop was outside the other stores that students normally went to. Hermione saw the exciting look on Harry's face when he saw all the places that she had gone to during her first Hogsmead visit. When they entered the shop they were at once greeted by a smiling woman. When she spotted McGonagall she said, "Minerva, what a pleasure to see you again. It's been too long."

"I agree, Sarah," McGonagall said, "We're here to shop for baby clothes."

"Well then you've come to the right place," she said, "Which female is the expecting mommy?"

"That would be me," Hermione said.

"My, my, their getting younger," she said.

"Take that thinking right out of your head," McGonagall snapped, "This is Hermione Granger or have you not been following the Daily Prophet?"

"Oh, your Hermione Granger," she said, "Sorry, thought you were like all the other girls that are around here. Well, lets get you looking at clothes."

"Thanks for the save," Hermione said to McGonagall.

"No problem, dear," McGonagall said.

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Snape was not having a good day. All around him it was a fest of giggling females looking at things that shouldn't be allowed to be sold. Potter just threw things in, thinking this was cute or that was cute. A sheep should not be singing annoying baby wizard songs. It's not legal!

"I know how you feel, Severus," Lupin said.

"When this is done I'm going to the bar to become a man again," Snape told him and Lupin laughed.

When McGonagall said the magic words 'Where done.' Snape wanted to bolt but he was force to carry the bags. Potter was carrying several cribs, which had been enchanted to stick together until they got them back to Hogwarts. The women were chatting about how fun the whole thing had been. Snape grumbled.

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"Do you think that Snape liked the trip?" Hermione asked Harry as he worked on the cribs.

"He looked like he was about ready to bolt," Harry answered, "Give me that thing that's on the table."

Hermione found it and handed it to Harry.

"Well I was glad to have all the men to help," Hermione said, "Gods; I can't wait until these things come out. Brown should have been charged with abuse of my body on top of the other stuff."

"I don't think the Ministry considered your age abuse on your body."

"Well they should change the rules," Hermione told him.

"True, true," Harry said.

The door opened and in came Sirius, looking totally dumb with a large lion, and a bottle of something.

"I'm here to remove all the Snape germs," he said.

"Oh shut up," Hermione snapped. "But thanks for the lion."

"Need any help in decorating?" he asked.

"No," Harry answered, "But we'll tell you when we need your help."

He got up and slid the mattress into place.

"Will it hold the monster?" Sirius asked.

"Are you calling my babies monsters?" Hermione asked.

"No, but if you got pregnant by Snape I would call them mini-snakes."

"And I would cut your privates off," Hermione snapped.

"Oh please, let me see this," said Snape and they saw him in the doorway.

"Got back from feeling like a man again?" Hermione asked, "Remus, told me that you had said that while we were in cutesy land."

"I'm not answering that," Snape said.

"I'm going to spray this in his face, get rid of the nasty Snape-."

"Shut up, Sirius," Harry and Hermione said at the same time. "Now, I need to get the others set up."

"Mitsy," Hermione called out.

The tiny elf appeared. "Yes, Mistress."

"I need gumbo," she told her. "And some crayfish, I heard they came into season."

"I'll get them right away," Mitsy said and she vanished.

"Still having those cravings?"

"Are you still here?" Hermione asked him.

"Yes," Sirius answered.

"Then there's your answer," Hermione said and then her food arrived.

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Votes for Boys and Girl

William: 10

Romulus: 11

Lily: 3

Tala: 2

Celina: 1

Tasha: 2

Tate: 5

Raoul: 2

Conan: 1

Connor: 9

Accalia: 1

Selene: 12

Alexander: 7

John: 1

Brian: 1

Michael: 1

Rose: 4

Jessica: 1

Lila: 2

Elizabeth: 3


	12. End Of Term

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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A/N: Once again, would like to thank you for your reviews. They have been such a joy in reading. I have to warn you this might be a short chapter. This is your last chance to vote on names.

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Chapter 12: End Of Term

Hermione was glad when term finally ended. They all had exams, but Hermione only had those in Muggle Studies, Ancient Runes, and History of Magic. All her Professors promised that she would automatically pass to her fourth year because what happened to her wasn't her fault. Hermione already had plans to drop Muggle Studies. The short time that she had been using the time tuner was enough to drive her mad. She was busy studying for History when Ron and Harry had come in.

Dumbledore had given her quarters in the dungeons so that she would have some relief from the heat. Giving birth in August was not her idea of a fun time of year. Never, would she look at the month the say way that she did before.

"So what happened?" Hermione asked.

"That dumb fraud, Trelawney," Ron said, "I swear she pretends to see what will be on the exams when she sets them."

"I told you that you should have taken something sensible, like Arithmancy but you didn't listen."

"I probably fail at that," Ron said.

"Or maybe not," Hermione countered. "So how did it go with you on your Divination exam?"

"Not well," Harry answered, "I was thinking about dropping it and taking up Muggle Studies. At least I know that I'll pass."

"And why would you want to take a pointless subject like Muggle Studies?"

"Maybe I want to have a chance of passing without really having to do any studying," Harry answered, "At least I won't have to worry about her predicting my death."

Hermione nodded in agreement.

"So has Lupin been around or do we have to hunt him down?" Harry asked.

"He's been down a couple of times," Hermione answered, "But I think that Sirius has had to drag him. Professor Snape is spending time down here, making sure that I have the potions that I need."

"Do you think he's planning to use your children as potion ingredients," Ron asked.

Hermione gave him a look and then said, "Honestly, Ron, why do you think he cuts people up?"

"Have you seen the jars that he has, has to be students," Ron answered.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I swear, that brother of yours has a sick mind," Hermione told Ginny.

Harry had just put together the changing table and Hermione had to admit that he did a good job. Ginny was helping Hermione put things so that she would be able to grab them.

"Well you have to admit that Ron does allow his imagination to run away with him," Ginny told her.

"Well I wish he would direct his imagination elsewhere," Hermione snapped.

She then burst into tears and she heard Ginny running to get a tissue. Taking it, when offered, she blew her nose.

"Damn hormones," Hermione said. "I cry for unknown reasons."

"It will be over," Ginny told her.

"I hope so," Hermione said.

"Hay, fancy fillies," Sirius suddenly said, popping his head in the door, "Are you girl's going nay nay?"

Hermione shot him with a hex, which knocked him out.

"Hermione, how many times do you hex him?" Ginny asked.

"Six times a week," Hermione answered. "Don't worry, Madam Pomfrey said that it won't cause brain damage. Wish it would."

"I feel sorry for the boy that dates your daughter," Ginny said.

"I don't, because when my daughter is done with him he won't be able to get a woman pregnant," Hermione told her, "I'm going to teach that girl some woman power."

Ginny laughed and then, "I see that you hexed the dog again."

"Yes, Professor Snape, I did."

"Glad to see your defense training kicking in," Snape said as he entered and slammed the door right on Sirius face.

"He called me a filly, I'm not a filly," Hermione said.

"He'll try and stick your kids with annoying nicknames to bring the Marauders back," Snape told her.

"He better not or I'll turn him into a dog…forever," Hermione told him.

"Miss Weasley, I think that you better join the other students," Snape said, "The train is about ready to leave."

"Oh no," Ginny gasped and she bolted from the room.

"She would forget her head if it wasn't attached to her body," Hermione told him.

"Indeed," he said. "Madam Pomfrey wanted me to ask you how you're feeling."

"Well but I want these babies out," Hermione answered.

"You still have over a month before that can happen," Snape told her.

"Don't I know," Hermione muttered, "Is Remus still here?"

"No, I'm afraid that he's left," Snape answered.

"Why, that little-."

"Want Dumbledore to hunt him down?" Snape asked.

"Please," Hermione said and Snape was gone.

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"I don't know what your problem is, Remus," Dumbledore asked. "The Ministry isn't going to quarter you."

"I'm not ready to see them," Remus told him.

"And when will you be ready to see them?" Dumbledore demanded, his eyes blazing with power as his temper got the best of him.

"I don't know," Remus answered.

Dumbledore grabbed him and squeezed, hard.

"You had better figure out soon or your going to have one mad witch at your front door."

He let go and then added, "And then I'm going to come after you if there's anything left. Last time I checked Severus is low on flesh of a werewolf."

Remus winced as Dumbledore left.

"I can't believe, wait a minute, I should, he's doing this," Snape said when Dumbledore told him what had happened.

"Remus, will not make a good father," Dumbledore said, "I was thinking about someone coming along to help her."

"And who might that be? Snape asked.

Dumbledore grinned at him and Snape had a funny feeling that he had just been selected.

"No way, I'm not doing it," Snape said.

"We'll see," Dumbledore said, grinning at him.

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Votes for Boys and Girl

William: 10

Romulus: 12

Lily: 3

Tala: 2

Celina: 1

Tasha: 2

Tate: 5

Raoul: 2

Conan: 1

Connor: 9

Accalia: 1

Selene: 13

Alexander: 8

John: 1

Brian: 1

Michael: 1

Rose: 4

Jessica: 1

Lila: 2

Elizabeth: 3


	13. Babies Arrive

Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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A/N: Thanks for your comments, their wonderful.

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Chapter 13: Babies Arrive

The castle had grown quiet and still, the Hogwarts Express had long sent the students back home. Hermione personally missed everyone, well not Sirius. He had gone back to reclaim his home and get it cleaned up. Personally if he thought that she was going to allow her babies to come over there then he was sadly mistaken. She was not going to have him brainwash them into thinking that Professor Snape was bad. She spent her time outside, enjoying the calm and peace that would soon be shattered when she gave birth.

She had gotten a letter from Gringotts, explaining that Dumbledore had set her up an account and she had full access to half of the Brown fortune, which was a lot. Her children wouldn't have to worry about robes and stuff when it was their turn to attend. The month of June ended and July started. Hermione sent Harry a gift at the end of July for his birthday. She hoped that he got it and that his Aunt and Uncle hadn't thrown it away. Hedwig had arrived at the beginning of August with a letter from Harry.

She opened it and read:

Hermione,

Sirius got me away from the Dursley's but he's acting like a stupid jerk. He says that you're wrong in making Snape godfather number three. Who died and made him king? Anyway, I hope that you're having a good summer and I can't wait to see you raising her hand in class, annoying the heck out of the others. Oh I heard that there's a Triwizard Tournament coming. Invite Snape to the Yule Ball just to annoy Sirius. Oh haven't heard from Remus yet, I think he's hiding.

Harry

"Oh when I'm done with him he'll wish he had stayed away," Hermione vowed.

A couple of days later Hermione entered the Hospital Wing, Snape right next to her, so that she could have her check-up. Even though the man hadn't been nice to her while she was in his class it was nice to have someone with her.

"Okay, let's see how you're doing and then I'm going to be leaving," Madam Pomfrey said.

"What do you mean your going to be leaving?" Snape demanded.

"It's only going to be for a week," she said, "We all know that she's not due for another two weeks so she'll be fine."

Snape muttered something that Hermione had a good idea wasn't a nice thing to say. Hermione was helped onto a bed and then examined.

"Do you know that I heard that babies come when they want to, not when you think they should," Hermione told her.

"Who told you that nonsense?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

"It's common knowledge, you damn woman," Snape snapped.

"Now, Professor, don't use foul language around my Princess and Prince's," Hermione scolded.

Snape glared at her.

Madam Pomfrey did a short examination, which told Hermione that she was fine.

"I'll be back well before their born," she said, "Nothing is going to happen."

Hermione had a bad feeling that she was wrong.

Of course, much to Hermione's amusement, Snape wasn't taking any chances. He stocked up on everything while those that lived in the castle left to visit love ones, or in the case of Albus Dumbledore, being yelled at by his brother. Still no Remus coming around and that made Hermione mad, so mad that she decided that she was going to name her children and none of her son's would have Remus name in it. No one messed with a Granger and got away with it.

A few days after Madam Pomfrey left Hermione woke up to fluid between her legs and her body racked with pain. Hermione screamed in pain and screamed "SEVERUS, I'M IN LABOR!" Those words brought one very tired looking, but alert, Potions Master running into the room. Suddenly she was glad that Dumbledore had decided to have her down in the dungeons.

"I told her this would happen," he said.

"Get Madam Pomfrey…now," Hermione ordered.

He left but then came back a couple of minutes later, telling her that she wasn't answering the Floo. Hermione screamed and knew that he was the only one that could deliver her babies.

If anyone told her that labor would be this bad she would have laughed at them but it hurt, really, really, badly. Snape changed into something that didn't make him look like a dungeon bat and ordered her to push. He had given her something for the pain but even with it, the whole thing still hurt and made her say words that she would have never said in her life.

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL REMUS AND THEN I'M GOING TO CUT HIS DICK OFF," Hermione screamed and then pushed.

Several hours later, and many 'push, Hermione, push' the screams filled the room as the first baby was delivered.

"It's the girl," Snape told her.

Hermione gasped for air, a smile on her face. And then the pain started again.

"The rest should be easy," he said.

"Easy for you to say, you're not delivering them," Hermione snarled and he told her to push again.

Ten minutes later all three of them were cleaned up and wrapped up. Hermione was being given something that would dull the pain and allow her to recover.

"You did great," Snape told her.

"Thanks but I'm never doing this again," Hermione told him, "Never, ever, doing this again."

"Want to hold one?" Snape asked.

Hermione nodded and the little girl was brought over. Hermione held her and smiled. Life was so sweet right now.

It took Hermione a week to recover from delivery and another couple of days before she could get out of bed without any help. A Healer had come to check on them and said that they were healthy.

"Glad to hear that," Hermione said.

"So what are their names?" the Healer asked.

"The girl was born first," Hermione said, and then looked at Snape, "What's your mum's name?"

"She's dead!" he stated.

"Then what was her name?" Hermione corrected

"Eileen," Snape answered.

"Then I'll name her Selene Eileen Granger," Hermione said. "Sound good to you?"

"Why are you asking me?" Snape asked.

"Because you helped me deliver them," Hermione answered.

"Sounds okay to me," Snape said.

She looked at the Healer and said, "That is the highest compliment that I'll ever get out of that man. It means that it's perfect."

The Healer wrote it down and then Hermione said, "The middle one will be William Alexander Granger and the youngest will be Romulus Severus Granger."

"What, you're naming the youngest after me," Snape said.

"Yes, and get over it," Hermione told him, "Honestly, that man acts like someone has rained on his parade."

The Healer laughed and wrote down the names.

If Hermione thought that she was going to get any sleep she was wrong. The babies woke her up at all hours of the night but thankfully one of the house elves was taking over and she was able to at least get some sleep. Hagrid as well as McGonagall, Dumbledore, and to her complete horror, Sirius, came to visit on the same day that Madam Pomfrey returned to work, upset that she hadn't been there.

"And the youngest wouldn't of been stuck with that git of a middle name," she said.

"Don't make fun of my baby's name," Hermione said.

"Oh they look so sweet," Hagrid said.

"They look like hairless monkeys," Sirius said.

"I bet you looked just like that when you were born," McGonagall said.

"I don't think so, I've always been good looking," he said. "Which one has the git for a middle name?"

Hermione chased him down the corridor with a ball bat.

"This is actually the most fun that I've had all week," Snape said.

Hermione wrote to the Weasley's, telling them that she had given birth. The next morning the nursery was filled with red heads and thankfully not Sirius. Harry was there, giving Romulus a pet snake.

"That boy doesn't need anymore toys," Mrs. Weasley said.

"I'm the godfather, I'm spoiling," Harry told her, which made Mrs. Weasley roll her eyes.

One night, Hermione woke up and went to the bathroom. When she came out she saw Snape holding Selene, a snuff doe floating over them.

"I see that someone has his favorite," Hermione told him.

"I don't like her," Snape told her.

Hermione grinned and said, "There's nothing wrong with loving someone. I just hope that they all grow up to realize what wonderful people they have."

"I'm sure this little princess will be reminded all the time," Snape told her.

Hermione smiled and said, "Oh I'm sure that you'll remind her."

"You better believe it," Snape said, "So when is Dumbledore doing the ceremony?"

"Tomorrow," Hermione answered.

"Well then you need to get some sleep," Snape told her.

Hermione nodded and headed to bed.

The next day Dumbledore had Madam Bones, Fudge, and several others there. No Remus, which Hermione wasn't surprised. All the staff was there as well as the Weasley's and Harry. Ginny was making faces at them.

"Members of the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts staff, and selected guests," Dumbledore said to everyone, "Today we bring three new members of the Wizarding world into our mists. The book, Minerva."

The book magically appeared and Fudge looked at it.

"The first born's name is Selene Eileen Granger, the middle is William Alexander Granger, and the youngest is Romulus Severus Granger," Fudge called out, "Their names are in the book and thus they shall be allowed at Hogwarts free of charge as part of the right of all children born with magical abilities to strengthen and grow them into a set of skills."

Everyone cheered and Hermione grinned.

"Every adult witch or wizard, raise your wands," Fudge said and Hermione watched as everyone did just that. "Say after me. We, members of the Wizarding World, place a tracking spell on these three until they are fully qualified wizards and a witch. Let nothing remove this spell and let us cast our own to protect them when they can't do it themselves."

Everyone repeated it and a band appeared around their arms.

"Great, they can't hex me," Sirius said.

Selene giggled and there was a pop and Sirius disappeared to be replaced by a chair.

"Oh dear," McGonagall said.

She changed the chair back to a man, Sirius glaring at the bundle of pink flesh.

"Now let's have some fun," Dumbledore said, closing the book.

Everyone cheered.

Later that night, Hermione looked down at the three babies that had been given to her due to Lavender Brown's short circuit thinking. Even after all that had happened she wouldn't give them up for the world. And as she looked out the window she knew, no matter what, they would be a great witch and wizards.

THE END

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A/N: Thanks everyone that read this story, love you all. I will plan a sequel but I want to wait until I'm done with the others Morrigan Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and Margret Potter, Daughter of Athena.


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